Shrekposting Following Another 8 Hour Grind
Shrekposting Following Another 8 Hour Grind
Blog Article
Man, this job really wastes. I'm so fried I could just fall asleep. All I wanna do is chug some juice and stare at the ceiling for hours. But first, gotta post a few Lord Farquaad memes to defeat the boredom. Existence is a real rollercoaster, man.
The corporate ladder is just a staircase to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about hunger, about ascending to the top and controlling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of luxury, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's shrek 2 just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You'll be long hours, meetings that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing competitors. Your dreams? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of rain gear
If ever you think about climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just trapped by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Title: "Important Meeting" - My Being: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a fictional onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- My body requires coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Let me just pretend to be busy with something else.
- Should I even bother checking the calendar for next week?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Ogre Strength
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It would just need some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting stuff.
- Perhaps it's time to a squad of golems?
- This spreadsheet needs an atomic bomb
- I'm demanding a nap
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of chilling out this weekend is just hilarious. My desk is currently a monument of reports, each one demanding my focus. Honestly, I'm more excited about tackling this stack of work than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a Sunday session of caffeine and scanning is more my speed.
My 9-to-5 Feels Like Being Shackled to a Company Farm
I'm trapped in this soul-crushing monster. Every day feels like I'm lumbering along, just another cog in the stable. I'm exhausted from dragging this load day after day. I long about breaking free.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually be around animals that enjoy their work.
- {Or maybe I'll start my own business and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not worth it.